Life As It Should Be

It's just enough to believe...

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The Lord’s Work in Me

There is someone who comes in and out of my mind ever so often in the day… The last time I really knew them was in August of 2011. It’s funny how you can go from really knowing someone to not knowing them at all. I don’t really know what it is… do I miss this person? Do I really miss how sad they made me? Do I really miss how sad and incomplete I felt? What is it that I am missing…?

I’m so happy now and I know that when I think about it… losing that part of my life was worth it. The Lord is worth it. Where would I be now? Would I still be lost? What about all that happened in between. Wandering aimlessly the first few months. Crying for 3 months straight until my sheets were soaked every night… there was a point where I couldn’t remember what it was like not to be that sad. And now here I am. Happy and in a sense, complete. I’ve found my home. Nothing will ever be perfect in life but I am home. The saints are my home. And little by little this person that I am is being transformed. It may be happening day by day and when I stop and look I see it… But sometimes I look back and wonder, where would I be had I not chosen the Lord? What would had happened had I not said, “Lord, do what you have to do.”

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i’m… happy :-)

Despite my little rough patch this month… no matter what I know that I want nothing more than to gain Christ. Even if I sometimes get too caught up in myself… I know that deep down, anything apart from Christ is meaningless. Whether I’m mad or sad about my current situation, frustrated, or looking at other things to fulfill myself. I know that these things are petty. I know those things are temporary and will do nothing to grant me access into God’s kingdom. 

Lately I’ve noticed that it has been hard for me to enjoy the Lord as much as I have been but I keep telling the Lord, Lord, I don’t want to feel like this… I want to enjoy you. I want to be part of what you are doing on this earth, I want to take part into your kingdom. And tonight for some reason, I was reminded that no matter what, I just have to keep running. I may fall but I need to get back up again, as soon as I can because the race is still there and if I wait too long, I won’t finish on time. 

Anyway, I’m happy today because the Lord has brought me here, out of darkness and into the light. I want nothing to do with this world, I hate my soul life. All I want is the Lord and to be built up with the saints and I have that :-)

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For everything there is a season, And a time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew; A time to be silent, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace.

What profit does the worker have in all that he labors?

I have seen the travail that God has given the children of men to travail in.

He has made everything beautiful in its own time; also He has put eternity in their heart, yet so that man does not find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and do good in their lifetime;

Moreover, that every man should eat and drink and taste enjoyment in all his labor; it is the gift of God.

I know that whatever God does, it will be forever; nothing can be added to it, nor can anything be taken from it. God has so done, that all would fear Him.

That which is has already been, and that which will be has already been; and God seeks what has passed.

Moreover I saw under the sun that in the place of judgment, wickedness is there; and in the place of righteousness, wickedness is there.

I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked; for there is a time there for every purpose and every work.

I said in my heart, This is so for the sake of the children of men, that God may prove them and that they may see for themselves that they are but beasts.

For what happens to the children of men happens also to beasts; even the same thing happens to them both: As the one dies, so dies the other; and they all have one breath; and man has no advantage over the beast; for all is vanity.

All go to one place: all are of dust, and all return to dust.

Who knows the breath of the children of men, that it goes upward; or the breath of the beasts, that it goes downward to the earth?

Therefore I saw that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his works, for that is his portion. For who will bring him to see what will be after him?

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The Church in Philadelphia

The Lord is coming back for one church and one church only. It is not a church of hierarchy, or a church married to politics. It is not a church that promotes the worship of idols, it is not a church that is worldy…  it is not a church that is not fully recovered, opinionated or judgmental. The Lord will come back for a church that is fully recovered in what he is after. A church that takes the Lord as their first love and remains in oneness. That church is represented by the church in Philadelphia in the book of Revelation. The Lord tells those outside the recovered church, “He who has an ear, let him hear”. There will be those outside the recovered church who will see what the Lord is after and take part of it. As for me, I not only want to see what the Lord is after, but I truly believe that I have found the recovered church. Lord Jesus do not ever let me stray from your will, from your economy, or from your hands. I want to be in the church of Philadelphia with all the saints, none of us getting lost or straying away… may we be desperate for your return, may we live every day striving to grow, striving to build, striving to remain in the constant fellowship… keeping you as our first love.

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happy :-)

3 months and 16 days to go until FTTA!!!

ftta.org 

Permalink It has only been 3 months since I have moved into the sister’s home. But even in these past 3 months the Lord has done so much. Everyday he is growing in me. Everyday he is there… the closer we are to his return, the more I want him to come back. I find myself wanting him to come back more than anything and taking me with him. Lord I love you. I can’t wait to spend two years with you and others who love you. This is a blessing, I praise you for this opportunity to be able to go to the training!
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Training

Only just about 130 until I consecrate two years to the Lord!! Countdown begins today…